New To This Thingy:
I’ve been making videos on YouTube for over a year now, and I’m so famous that they’re starting to notice I exist in my house. No but seriously, it has been a bumpy ride. I don’t have as much subscribers as I would like, but I’ve been SLOWLY growing in numbers. Because I believe the YouTube life is not just about making videos and posting them, but also about
getting attentionthe interaction with the community, I created a twitter to keep everyone updated, a Facebook fan page to see who my fans are, and a MySpace to add friends…none of that has really worked out. Now I come to tumblr because other people are using itI want to try something different and this looks inovative & fun. If you wish, join me in this new journey.
So Lets Get Started In Here!!!!
Very interesting interview with Justin Bieber…a great moment caught on camera. Send it to everyone you know.
What is ignorance? It’s a void, a missing piece, an insult, the lack of knowledge, it is the arrogance of those who neglect to see it in their own eyes, it is the failure of a nation to understand, it is the inability to put on the shoes of everyone around you. Everyone is ignorant, at least in some areas. You cannot know every detail about everything. The knowledge you don’t posses is the ignorance you try to defend. Ignorance is not a weakness, it’s a bridge you have yet to cross. But being ignorant is not a fault until you begin to fight for what you do not know.
What is ignorance? It is thinking that the grass is greener on the other side when you have never stepped foot on that lawn, when you have not even climbed the fence to see it right. It is saying that your grass is greener when you’re color blind, when you have not even made an attempt to see what the neighbor has done. There are billions of shoes out in the world, and we cannot step into all of them. Some of those shoes don’t even seem to fit. Our mind is too limited to avoid the grasp of ignorance, so just rejoice in the things that you do know, and rest with peace accepting that there are others that you will never comprehend. Ignorance dies a little everyday, but it can never fully die.
What is ignorance? For a lot of people, it’s a choice. These people read the introduction and decide their own conclusion. These people see three stories and only read the one that suits them best. Whatever they choose, it must be right. Whatever they discard, they classify as ignorant. They choose the shiny answer, but just because it’s socially accepted, does not make it the right one. They look on who to blame, who to hate, if someone disagrees that person must be cast away. They choose to live in a bubble to be protected from what they defend.
Am I ignorant? I know a lot of things about many things. I have walked on countless lawns, and stepped in many shoes. I have lived through the pitch black, and crossed back to stand on the sun. I lurked through the shadows just to end up in the light. Still with all I have observed, with every attempt I have made, I am still as ignorant as everybody else. What I know, I know, and I’m sure of. But what I don’t, I would like to know, but I don’t. Everyday is a lesson, but life is a school with no vacation, and a graduation called death. We never stop learning because the ignorance is never buried. A lot of the times when we think we’re dealing with ignorance, we’re just focusing on our side of the story. Learn to accept that you are wrong a lot of the times. That was a hard task for me, but I finally understood that it’s better to learn from your mistakes than to teach what you don’t know. But what I know, I know, and I’m sure of. That’s when I’ve had to just try to give my point and then just let everything else unfold. It will not necessarily work out in my favor, but fighting against ignorance is fighting with the air. Not everyone can step in my shoes, most people don’t even want to try them on. I don’t blame them, I don’t hold it against them. I just live in peace, knowing the things that I know, and that I’m sure of. People will hate me, but I will love them. People will cast me aside, and I will walk away. We can either battle in our ignorance, or unite in our knowledge.
But don’t take my word for it. This is but one page, one story. Climb that fence and look for yourself. Never stop asking questions, and listen to all the answers. Observe, analyze, study, and pick your grass. I will share my knowledge, but it is your duty to confirm it. I will not lie to you, but for all you know this could be a lie. I am just another enemy of ignorance, so I encourage you to dig deeper, and find the truth. Whether you choose to believe my words, and take them as yours, that’s up to you. All I ask is that you take a second to reflect on what you just read, and ignorance will be hurt.
What is ignorance? Hopefully now it is what you know, you know, and you’re sure of.
My life is strange in that so much has happened and yet it seems as if nothing were happening at all. It’s only when I look back that I realize how much life I have actually lived. That’s crazy to me, because as I live my life it feels like a monotonous routine. But that’s not what this is about, to be quite honest, I don’t even know why I started this blog this way. I guess it’s just a way of letting you know that my life experiences are what have made me the way I am (as if you didn’t already know that, dammit, everyone is shaped by their experiences…anyways), because that’s what I want you to know. Who I am.
Most people think I am a quiet, reserved, and a very shy young man. That is actually a good assumption, because that’s what they see, how can they think otherwise when that’s what they were introduced to. That’s why I hate first impressions, because I will screw them up 99.9% of the time. The best shot I have at nailing a first impression is if you meet me while in the company of people who have already unlocked my walls. Yes the walls. The walls I wish I could tare down, but they keep popping up. The walls I subconsciously put up. I blame moving so much, and all the good-byes I had to endure. I have tried to beat it, and someday I will, but at the moment, this is me, and so my wish is for you to understand it. Not so much why I am this way, but understand that there is a better me behind the surface that seems so dull.
I am very open about my Youtube videos, and I don’t care who see’s them. It wasn’t always like that. When I first started, I didn’t tell anyone, it was just my way of escaping. The first comments I received on my videos where from my other account, telling myself that the videos were bad, but that I had potential. I laugh about it now, but it’s pretty sad. (I keep sharing these things that really have nothing to do with what I wanna get across, I don’t know why my doctor doesn’t believe me that I have ADD…idiot!) Since I am so open about my channel now, most people have seen at least one of my videos. The comment I get most often from those people is, “you’re so different in your videos”. The horrible part about it all is that I am not really putting an act for my videos. I exaggerate my personality, deepen my voice, and often make up jokes that aren’t necessarily based on my actual views. But for the most part, the guy who appears on screen is the real me. Or at least far closer than the quiet-shy guy most people think I am.
There’s not really a time frame for people to see the real me, or an exact time you have to spend with me so that I feel comfortable enough to be myself around you. There’s people that have been in my life for years, and all they’ve seen is a shy little boy. While there are people (far fewer though) who after a few conversations later have seen the insanity that is me. There’s not really a formula, and I hope that as my confidence grows, I will simply not care at all, and I will be myself ALL THE TIME. But I just wanted to inform you of the current situation. So if you meet that shy guy, just know that you could meet the other guy, and he’s much cooler.
The strength behind the walls is fueled by the fear of rejection. The fear of not being liked. I realize how silly it may sound, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s real, that it’s a part of who I am. A part I want to change, but a part of me nonetheless. Do you know that I have never been rejected by a girl? That’s because I wont try ANYTHING without being 100% sure that I wont be rejected. And that’s probably the reason why I’ve only had two actual girlfriends in my entire existence. But seriously, with both of them, I didn’t go to second base (I’m not actually sure what the bases are, I am referring to the grabbing of the boobs), I was dragged to it. I didn’t wanna be rejected of it, so it actually turned out that way; my hand was slowly guided to their right boob, and that actually happened with these two different girls. I used to think that grabbing boobs was just a fun activity guys enjoyed doing, but ever since that second girl guided my hand I learned that it’s actually very pleasurable for the woman. (See?!? My freaking doctor knows nothing…ADD I tell you, ADD)
My point is, I know what’s wrong with me. I am in no way, shape, or form asking you to help me, or to fix me. All I want is for you to be as honest with me as you can, as open minded as possible, and a lot of patience wouldn’t hurt. I absolutely hate giving myself praises, unless I do it as a joke, but if you ask any of the people that have gotten to know the real me, they can tell you that I am a great friend. And this friend right here, wants to be YOUR friend. So if you think I’m quiet and shy, just remember that you can meet me once again.
I have neglected Tumblr for a while, no new posts, not even a reblog. I don’t like it, I don’t like it one bit. I know the effects of leaving a site for a while. It’s sad to say it, but in general, internet people are very fickle. There are the few loyal ones who will stick with you ‘till the end, but those are hard to come by, and even they can grow tired of your absence. It happened to me on Youtube, I once left it for about four months, and when I came back, it was almost as if I was starting back from zero. I don’t regret it, because I took Youtube a lot more serious after that, partly because I felt like I let a lot of people down. Very few people stuck around, there’s not a lot of the first batch of subscribers who still watch my videos. That’s one of the reasons why the number of views I get is not even close to being parallel to the number of my subscribers.
But I digress.
I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be more active on Tumblr from now on. I actually happen to really like this site, and believe it or not, one of my passions is writing. Stick with me, we have a long road ahead.