The Window To My Eyes

Life, Life, Life.

Life, life, life. What can I say about life? It’s never one path, it’s never one door; it is the accumulation of decisions which guide us into different directions and either open or close countless doors. What about MY life? I’ve had my ups and downs, but I’m still breathing and I can say without a doubt in my mind that I am a happy human being. We all struggle with different things, the strongest deal with the hardest, and the weak deal with what’s hard for them. No one is given a task impossible to achieve. We are given all the pieces to the puzzle, but it is up to you if you want to solve it, and the order in which you choose to put it together. Why am I so happy? Why do I smile even when I’m supposed to be mad? Why can’t tears never drown my heart? The only one responsible for that is God. Whether you believe in him or not, you cannot deny that there is something greater out there…the difference is that I don’t believe it’s ‘out there’, but instead inside of me. I know because I’ve seen the impossible accomplished. I know because I hear his voice. I know because I’ve felt the fire. I know because as you’re reading this, there is a voice inside your head telling you how real this is, and another voice telling you how crazy & stupid this sounds. The question is not whether you hear it or not, the question is…which voice is louder in your head?

But I did not write this to convert you, or to place my beliefs upon you. I wrote it because you’re part of my life, and you need to know that I appreciate that. More than appreciating it, I love it. Which is why I had to talk about God, because if you wish to understand me, you must know what’s important to me. And NOTHING in my life is as important as God. But what follows in that list of my priorities is my family, and I’m not just talking about the family that share my DNA, because all my friends are a part of my big family. I have different relationships with all of you, and with most of you, I wish I could spend more time, and get to know you better. My closest friends are just a few, but there are too many too count that have been there for me, and made an impact in my life.

For the people that barely know me…I’m only shy because you barely know me. It’s nothing personal, but for reasons too complicated for this note, and a few bumps on this path, I have a hard time trusting people, and letting them find out who I really am. I hope we get to know each other a lot better, so that you can find out how crazy I actually am. Don’t be afraid to make the first move, I don’t bite…at first. ;)

For my acquaintances…for reasons unknown to me, we get along, we talk, we even have fun, but it never truly blossoms into a friendship. Perhaps I don’t talk enough, or maybe I try too hard. But you are still an important part of my life, and I hope that some day the ice finally breaks and we can be good friends.

For my good friends…thank you for being part of a dream that keeps building up into a beautiful flower. We’ve had so much fun, made so many great memories, had some deep conversations, and you’ve been there when I needed you to be there. As life goes by, we move on, meet new people, and forget those left behind. You’re the ones I will never forget. You have complimented me, supported me, and I simply enjoy to be in your company. You can always count on me. My ears will always be there when your voice needs a receiver. My shoulder when you need to wipe those tears off your face. You can always count on me to make a joke during a serious moment, just because I want to change that frown into a smile. Your secrets are safe with me.

For my close friends…what I just said goes to you, and doubles. How did you manage to make me be my complete self around you? You are amazing, and my life is better because you are in it. I know I can talk to you about the important things that are going through my mind, or the stupidest thing that just pops up randomly. I know you don’t like everything about me, and that’s fine because I’m not perfect, but you accept me just as I am, and you show interest in being my friend. I can’t thank you enough for making my life SO much better. Only you understand when I make jokes about putting kids in my van, or when I make random noises. You may be embarrassed sometimes, but you still like being around me. And I love being around you. With you, I don’t limit myself, I just let my imagination flow. I don’t even care if I say something stupid, because you’ll understand…and besides, you probably say stupider stuff than I do. ;) . I don’t know how big my heart is, but you’ve all taken a big chunk of it.

For my most intimate friends…All the nice things I have said in this note goes especially for you, and the words have even more weight than before. I can count you with my right hand. You are just a few, but you have achieved the highest position you can reach as my friend. The amount of trust I’ve given you is unbelievable. It wouldn’t matter if we stopped talking for a year, because we would just pick up from where we left off…well, it wouldn’t matter in that sense, but it would matter so much because it would be like taking water away from me. Well, not water, because I don’t really like the taste of water, and don’t say that water taste like nothing, because it does…it tastes like water. Anyways, it would be like taking juice away from me, and I’m thirsty all the time, that’s because I need you in my life. You understand me the best out of everyone else, even though you don’t completely understand me. But it’s perfectly fine, because I don’t even completely understand me. I love your opinion, and also when you listen to mine, because it’s important to me what you think. Although I must admit that I also love disagreeing with your opinion, hehehe, it makes for a better conversation. Plus I know that you can never truly stay mad at me…you love me too much. And so do I, but about you. Our friendship should be the standard for all friendships, and I wish I could talk to everyone the way I can talk to you, but I guess that’s what makes you especial. I hope that a few other people can reach this position, but more than that, I wish you ALWAYS occupy the same spot in my heart. If I didn’t have anymore friends, you would be more than enough. I will always be here. You are the ones I KNOW will read this whole note, and comment on it. There are many people I won’t let myself forget, but you, I could never forget you even if I tried. Well, especially if I tried…have you tried forgetting something? You just remember it more.

Life, life, life. It’s so beautiful. My life has led me to meet you all, and that’s another reason for my happiness. Soon I will be eighteen and all that’s left is one more day of high school. I might not even be in this city after September. That’s why I wanted you to know how much you mean to me. Because even though I don’t say it, I feel it. Often I’ve felt like I don’t fit in, but you fit in my heart, and that’s when it clicks; when I’m with my friends, that’s where I’m supposed to be, that’s where my heart needs to be. Just remember how much you mean to me. Sometimes the most obvious things need to be said in other to be real. Sometimes words are stronger than actions. But never cease to act. There is a reason why a key doesn’t fit in every door. There is a reason why every door has a way to open. I’m glad I opened a door to find YOU.

Life, life, life…it’s awesome because you are in it!!!!