When someone tells you something personal or intimate, it’s not really about the knowledge, it’s not about ‘getting the dirt’. It’s about knowing that your friend truly trusts you to hold that important information. The feeling of knowing that someone truly trust you with their most well kept secrets is one of the best feelings ever.
Today I realized I don’t have anyone in my life who gives me that feeling. I used to. I don’t write this to make you pity me. I write it because it’s the reality of my situation, and this is the only way I can let it out. In order to deny this situation control of my feelings, there’s just a handful of things I can do. But it’s all reduced to tumblr because all the other networking sites are compromised. Easily accessible to people who repeatedly insist that they do trust me. But trust is not something you can fake.
I already feel much better. Funniest thing is, I’m actually pretty super happy these days. This was just a pebble on my way, which I wanted to kick away before it grew into a boulder. Mission accomplished.